Single: Week 1 - Think of Your Life as a Movie

Why are there so many stigmas to being single?
I've heard and read that you're considered an old maid if you are single.  I don't agree.
But what if you are deciding to be single, I mean really choosing to be single?
I've chosen to be single again.  Let me start by saying that I have been in long term relationships since I was 16.  This last one the longest at 10 years.  I realize I've sacraficed a lot of myself in each one.
I decided this weekend that I needed to spend some time with myself.  I haven't been hapy in a long time.  I started to question myself.  Why wasn't I happy and how can I make myself happy again?
To start this journey I bought a book titled "Single, The Art of Being Satisified, Fulfilled and Independent" by Judy Ford.  So far I really like the book and it has really opened my eyes.  I enjoy that at the end of each subject she is on she gives you things to "try".
I figured as I go about my new journey of singlehood I would write about what I learn as I read.  So tonight I start with the subject, "Think of your life as a movie".
In this subject she talks about the morning she looked out over the horizen and saw what a perfect backdrop it would be for a movie.  You know those moments where everything in that very moment seems perfect.  How it reminds you of one of those romantic movies with a happy ending.  But as you're looking you realize that it is nothing like your life.  Nothing about it is anything like your life, you can't even find one little moment where it might reflect on your life.  You realize you're not happy.
You realize there is nothing predictable about your life.  I find myself these days feeling just that.  One moment I can be as happy as a clam, looking forward to the future and the next minute I can be in tears.  Yes, I do realize they have medicine for that but I think it's more than that.  Isn't it funny how in our darkest moments where we feel like our world is falling apart we can put on that happy face and no one is the wiser?  In those moments we are acting.  Some of us can put on Academy Award winning performances.  I suppose you can actually put your life in categories: Drama, Comedy, Thriller and so on.  Most days mine is a Drama, not that I always choose that.  I miss the Comedy I once had. 
When we have a life style change such as becoming single again it can create heartache.  One of the most important things Judy Ford says under this subject is: "It's in the acknowledging of our situation that we're able to rise above it and turn our heartbreak into hearwarming victory".  This is something I will be focusing on.  When we look at our life and imagine it as a movie, we can play the part good.  Trying our best not to get stuck with it.  Then like those great actors we can look forward to sooner or later a new role presenting itself to us.
Growing up we all believe in some way that every story must have a happy ending.  While this is ideal, it is most likely not what actually happens.  However, we can still strive to attain that happy ending.  We can still make all efforts to provide ourselves with a happy ending.  You can make your happiness.
I don't know what will happen to me as I take this journey to being single again.  I'm sure I will stumble and fall.  But you know what, that's okay.  I'm a big girl and I can dust myself off and keep moving forward.  I may not be making an award worthy performance right now, but you can bet that I will eventually get to the point where I feel like I am and I will be very proud of myself.
I hope that if you are in my same shoes that you will follow along with me.  If you aren't then I hope you can still join along, I may need you to help me when I stumble.
Now, as Judy Ford does at the end of every subject, here is the "try this" she has for this subject:
1. Write down the names of actor and actresses that you'd choose to play the characters in your life story.
2. Think about the main themes.
3. Carry a journal, and jot down your best lines.
4. For one week, step back and watch.  View your life as if you were sitting in the audience.
5. Give yourself a round of applause or, better yet, a standing ovation.
I will definitely be trying some of these.  I believe that journaling will be very good for me.  A way to look back and see what I am going through.  I think it is very important to remember #5, I think we short change ourselves in this department.  We are always willing to remember what we messed up or did wrong.  But we hardly ever pat ourselves on the back when we do something great or accomplish something for ourselves.  Try it this week and let me know how it feels.
Thank you for taking this journey with me.