Single Changes

Isn't it funny, when we go through a life change, like a relationship change we want to change everything.

We realize we've been letting ourselves go, we haven't really been paying attention to that person in the mirror looking back at us.  It's really quite unfortunate that we ignore ourselves for so long, that everyone else and everything else is more important.  Sometimes we don't even realize that we are ignoring ourselves.  Until you find yourself in the midst of a life change.

That's where I find myself.  With change that has already started and more that will be coming forth I feel a need to really change myself.  To take into consideration how much and how long I have let myself go.  To realize how much and how long I have ignored myself.  It's kind of funny, I feel almost like I am going through a mid-life crisis at 35.  But not a bad mid-life crisis, a great one.  One that is awesome and empowering.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm still a little scared.  Not sure how I will be able to handle things when I am completely on my own.  When that day comes in this next month I will need to learn the art of balancing everything in my own two hands.  I will need to learn to not let fear control me, even when I feel it's grasp reaching for me.

This is where I believe that if I continue to work on myself and bettering myself that I will hopefully be able to conquer this fear I feel.  There is no turning back and I don't want to.  There is only looking forward......into that shining light at the end of the tunnel.  And even though that light seems so far away right now......I pray that it will continue to stay where I can see it and feel it's warmth.